


Almost Never Again

by Beckyhelene



Series: Life’s Little Ironies [2]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bantering in Bed, Blow Jobs, Body Worship, Bottom Magnus Bane, Comforting Magnus Bane, Crying During Sex, Cuddles, Emotional Magnus Bane, Fluff and Smut, Hand Jobs, Kinda?, Kissing, M/M, Make up sex, Nipple Play, Not Beta Read, Rimming, Seduction, The boys have a lot of feelings okay, Top Alec Lightwood, Worried Alec Lightwood, and I’m just tagging as I go along, but it’s happy crying don’t worry, emotional Alec lightwood, i guess depending on how you’d define it, mentions of past switching, newly engaged sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-08
Updated: 2020-03-08
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:41:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22865752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beckyhelene/pseuds/Beckyhelene
Summary: The spicy continuation to “Certainty, Hope, and a Promise” (though it can be read on its own aside from a few lines here and there). Alec and Magnus move their breakup and Edom post-mortem to the bedroom, where both can’t help but further reflect on how close they had come to losing each other.
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Series: Life’s Little Ironies [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1643626
Comments: 4
Kudos: 46





	Almost Never Again

Magnus could write a doctoral dissertation on the varied nuances of kissing Alec, how each situation brought on a different sort of kiss and how Magnus loved each and every one of them:

There were the light and quick hello or good morning kisses Alec would press onto Magnus’s lips or cheek. A need to have his lips on the man he loved the moment he saw him.

The just as quick and light soft kisses that came when they were so enamored by the others’ love, generosity, kindness, or thoughtfulness, a simple thank you wouldn’t suffice. There was a time when the brief contact was there in place of the words they’d yet to say to each other: _I love you._ And after they’d said those words to each other, the kisses took on a level of comfortable domesticity. It was almost habit. A habit Magnus would never get enough of.

The fierce intense and passionate kisses that usually involved Alec gripping the lapels of Magnus’s jacket and crushing their lips together, crashing through like water after a dam had burst. Their first kiss with Alec having held himself back from his true desires long enough, striding towards what he wanted damn the consequences. Their kiss on Alicante with Alec having resigned himself to an empty life without Magnus, his need for Magnus rushing forth the moment he heard what kept them apart no longer stood between them. Not letting Magnus finish his sentence before plastering his lips onto his. No holding back, no forcing himself to be without Magnus.

The also fierce and passionate, though for entirely different reasons, kisses that came when the two couldn’t keep their hands off of each other. Backing up onto a bed, a wall, a couch, any surface really. The kisses that made Magnus’s toes curl and blood ignite as it rushed below his waist and nothing mattered but Alec’s lips on his, his tongue in his mouth, his hands inching his shirt up to touch bare skin, the feel of Alec’s desire for him against his thigh as they rutted against each other fumbling to get rid of their pants.

The comforting lingering kisses that told Magnus his heart was safe in Alec’s loving hands. Alec’s decision it didn’t matter how many Magnus had been with before. The softness of his voice, his eyes lit up like he was taking in one of the seven wonders of the world, as he cupped Magnus’s face and called his cat eyes—called him—beautiful, before leaning in and kissing him. 

Then there were the kisses like what they were currently engaged in. Slow, languid, savoring the feel and taste of each other. The kisses that came in their quiet comfortable moments where everything outside stopped and they had all the time in the world to just be together. Sitting out on Magnus’s terrace, or on the balcony of some lavish hotel during a portal assisted short getaway, enjoying the romantic glow of the moon and stars for as long as they could until life and responsibilities inevitably interrupted them.

Their extensive rehashing past events was behind them, their future awaited them tomorrow, and now they were just lounging on Magnus’s couch enjoying each other. Lips and tongues slowly dancing the steps they knew so well. Hands softly skimming each other’s backs, sides, necks, and running through hair. Wordlessly leaning back, Alec lying his head against the arm of the couch and Magnus on top of him, as their bodies grew warmer as the kiss continued.

”We should get to bed,” Alec murmured against Magnus’s lips in between kisses.   
  


“Hmm?” Magnus hummed, then sighed against Alec as he reluctantly pulled his lips away. The exhaustion that had led to Alec’s briefly succumbing to his tears as they talked had been brushed away as Magnus had held and comforted him, but it was still there. Alec needed sleep. To be fair, so did Magnus, but with the diligent going over tomes to find a way to free Magnus from Edom and whatever the alliance rune and subsequent adventure must have taken out of him, Magnus had to marvel at how Alec could even keep his eyes open. “Of course, you must be tired,” Magnus said, tenderly stroking Alec’s cheek before moving to sit up.

”Not exactly,” Alec replied, quickly tightening his hold on Magnus to keep their bodies flush together. He met Magnus’s slight questioning gaze with a smoldering look and sultry smile. 

“Oh, I see,” Magnus said with a choked out chuckle as Alec shifted his hips beneath him to make it abundantly clear what he was implying. 

”Do you not want to?” Alec asked, doubt overcoming the desire in his eyes. Magnus leaned in and kissed him.

”Alexander, you should know by now there is no such thing as ‘not wanting’ anything concerning you,” he grinned, lightly rolling his own hips to rub himself against Alec’s erection. “I just don’t want you to over exert yourself,” he added, running his fingers through Alec’s hair lovingly. “We’re going to have plenty of nights...days....afternoons...” he listed off, making Alec grin up at him, “together. We don’t have to push ourselves tonight.”

”I know,” Alec replied, his voice slipping into the mixture of lovingly and carefully thought out debate he’d use when needing to convince Magnus of some sort of plan. Max’s rune celebration, Alec’s unsuccessful initial plans to move in together, wanting Magnus to feel comfortable staying at the Institute after losing his apartment, just to name a few instances. “But,” Alec continued, leaning towards Magnus, his breath hitting a familiar spot on Magnus’s neck that had the power to have the warlock ready to agree to anything, “it occurred to me, with everything that’s gone on, we missed out on a few things,” he murmured before kissing the spot on Magnus’s neck. 

”Oh? What sort of things would that be?” He asked around a dreamy sigh, his hips pressing into Alec’s by their own accord.

”Make up sex, for one thing,” Alec answered in a cheeky whisper against Magnus’s skin, lightly playfully nipping on the spot he’d been kissing, causing Magnus to feel a fast increase in his growing arousal as memories hit him.

Leaving the alley behind Hunter’s Moon after they, literally, kissed and made up. The grand revelry and celebration inside the bar paling in comparison to the celebration inside their own hearts at being back together and the desire to be alone to let that happiness consume them together. A portal back to the loft, lips fusing together the moment they reached the other side, and Magnus getting a thorough and blissfully exhaustive lesson on the capabilities of Alec’s stamina rune.

”Oh yes, we do happen to be quite good at that,” Magnus murmured, licking his lips, memories of that night stoking the fire inside of him. They hadn’t even made it to the bedroom until at least their third or fourth round. And even then, had a few more passionate distractions up against the bedroom door, the dresser, the floor, against the foot of the bed, until they made it _onto_ the bed itself.

”And we’ve yet to properly celebrate getting engaged,” Alec pointed out, his attentions on Magnus’s neck moving to the stage of sucking his skin and likely leaving a beautiful mark on Magnus’s flesh. 

”Yes, we should,” Magnus began, his voice catching around a moan, “be so ashamed of ourselves for forgetting that.” 

“Mmhmm,” Alec agreed, trailing kisses up from Magnus’s neck to his jaw and then back to his lips. Fierce, intense passion flooding into Magnus. One hand trailing down Magnus’s back, a finger teasingly tracing the back seam of Magnus’s pants.

”Alexander, if you’re trying to seduce me, you are succeeding,” Magnus moaned, his body shivering in anticipation, his hole damming the barriers of clothing keeping Alec’s finger from making contact.

”Good to know,” Alec replied, a chuckle rumbling in his chest against Magnus. “So, bed?” He asked, though it was clear he’d be perfectly content staying exactly where they were.

”Mm, yes, bed,” Magnus nodded. As much as he was enjoying their position, the feel of their bodies pressed together, this was their first time as fiancés. That called for the cheesy romance of comfortable bed and its silk sheets. Even if it required peeling himself off of Alec’s delectable body to get there. “Steele stays out here, though,” he ordered once he managed to get up from the couch. A shot of incredulity and molten heat settled in his core at the slight pout Alec gave him as he sat up. Oh yes, Magnus was correct in assuming his love was thinking of showing off that stamina rune once again.

”What do you mean?” Alec asked, only to be met with a chiding ‘tut’ from Magnus, telling him he saw right through his feigned innocence and playing coy.

”If you have enough energy for us to do this, you don’t need it. And if you don’t, then we should just go to sleep. So, which is it?” He asked, a light challenge in his tone. His body was certainly aching for Alec’s, but it did not supersede his concern for his Shadowhunter. As tantalizing of a memory rune assisted lovemaking was, it didn’t need to be revisited when they both (but mainly Alec) were close to running on fumes. Magnus wanted Alec healthy more than he wanted his body.

”Alright,” Alec gave in, fishing his Steele out of his pocket and setting it down on the coffee table. “Steele stays out here.” 

”Good boy,” Magnus teased, earning him a roll of the eyes from Alec as he rose from the couch. Magnus took Alec’s hand and led the way to the— _their_ —bedroom. They’d just passed the threshold, Alec’s heel bumping the bedroom door shut behind them, before Alec was pressed up against Magnus’s back, his arms around his waist and his lips back on his neck from behind. “Someone’s eager,” Magnus grinned as he leaned back against Alec’s chest, before snapping his fingers and letting his magic melt their clothes and shoes off of them and fall off intact in a heap on the floor, leaving them in their underwear.

”Looks like I’m not the only one,” Alec chuckled, moving his hips against Magnus’s, his aim only impeded by his cotton boxer briefs and Magnus’s silk trunks. “Why stop here?” He asked, one hand ghosting along the waist band of Magnus’s underwear. Magnus sighed, enjoying the feel of Alec’s bare chest on his back and his erection against his ass.

”What can I say, there’s a certain charm in some things being removed the _hard_ way,” he replied, licking his lips at the thought of Alec slowly peeling his underwear off of him. The line was beyond cheesy, and silly, something out of a low production pornographic movie, but Magnus didn’t care, and by the way Alec’s hands had moved from his waist to brush his fingers up his stomach and chest, clearly Alec didn’t mind either. 

“Well, I guess it’s for the best. It’ll keep me from getting too distracted,” Alec murmured, his fingers brushing Magnus’s nipples.

”Distracted....from what?” Magnus asked, his head falling back against Alec, the caressing and tweaking of his nipples sending him towards cloud nine.

”From touching, and kissing, you all over,” Alec replied, each word punctuated with a kiss up from Magnus’s neck until he reached his ear. “Lie down on your stomach,” he requested in a commanding whisper that had Magnus’s cock standing at complete and total attention with the way his hot breath caressed his ear. Magnus could see Alec’s intentions to take his time, continue to ply and seduce him even if it was unnecessary. Make their first moment back together and engaged last even without the aid of a Steele and runes. Clever boy.

”Yes, sir,” Magnus cheekily replied as he kneeled on the foot of the bed and slowly crawled away from Alec, making sure to let his hips sway with each movement. He grinned at the way Alec groaned behind from the foot of the bed, his little show having had the desired effect. 

Magnus stretched out onto his stomach, his arms crossed under his head on the pillow. He felt a thrill of anticipation run down his spine as he felt the bed dip with Alec’s weight as he climbed onto the bed. Alec sat on his knees, his legs on either side of Magnus with his thighs pressed against the sides of Magnus’s hips. 

”Comfortable?” Alec asked, leaning down so his gentle question hit Magnus’s upturned cheek. 

”Mm, very,” Magnus replied with a content smile. Caught between the cool silk of his sheets, and Alec’s presence hovering over and around him? How could he not be comfortable? 

”Good,” Alec replied with a smile before kissing the corner of Magnus’s mouth. “Just relax, and enjoy,” he added in a sultry whisper against Magnus’s skin as his hands glided up the sides of Magnus’s rib cage and to his arms. Magnus sighed happily at the way Alec’s touch, breath, and words enveloped him like a warm bath.

Alec was true to his word, he really did intend to kiss and touch as much of Magnus as he could. He started at the top; his lips brushing against the corner of Magnus’s mouth, his cheek, along his cheekbone and under his eye, and the eyelid that Magnus had closed caught up in the bliss of Alec so close to him. All the while his hands delicately smoothed and kneaded Magnus’s arms, his fingers drawing lazy loving lines on his skin. 

Magnus felt a mild bereft sensation when he felt Alec move from the side of his face. This feeling quickly dissipated as he felt Alec’s lips trail down to his neck as his hands caressed his upper arms and shoulders. The small change in Alec’s position also had the added benefit of his hips hovering over Magnus’s. The feeling of Alec’s cotton covered erection idly brushing against Magnus’s backside was tantalizing, causing his hips to shift as he tried to chase after that feeling. 

”Just relax,” Alec murmured against the base of Magnus’s neck as he kissed his skin. Magnus felt a mild indignation, certain he could feel Alec’s lips stretch into a self satisfied smirk at Magnus’s impatience. Alec was going to be the death of Magnus, and he was enjoying every second of it. Though, so was Magnus, so he could only be but so perturbed. 

”Alexander,” Magnus breathed out, a mixture of a moan and a whine as Alec moved again. His hands moved down to gently hold Magnus at his waist, his hips lowering down to Magnus’s as he changed positions to trail kisses across Magnus’s shoulders. 

”I’m here,” Alec murmured against Magnus’s shoulder blade. It was an unneeded sentiment—of course Alec was there, that was the problem! Or, not a problem per se, but was certainly the cause of Magnus’s hips beginning to shift between rubbing against the stiff appendage against his ass and pressing into the bed to get some delicious friction against his own erection. And yet, something about it soothed Magnus. Alec was there, they were together. They’d overcome their challenges and were back on their way to a beautiful future together.

”I love you,” Magnus sighed, warmed by the reminder of Alec’s presence just as much as by what he was doing to him.

”I love you too, Magnus,” Alec replied as he continued to move, his lips roaming down the space between Magnus’s shoulder blades to his spine. “I love you so much. So, so, so much,” he continued in an almost reverent whisper between kisses against Magnus’s back.

Magnus took Alec’s advice and let himself relax, just lie there and be smothered by the love and affection Alec was giving him with every kiss and touch. Alec left practically no inch of Magnus’s back untouched, alternating between focusing his attention on Magnus’s spine and littering his muscles and every other inch of his back with gentle kisses. 

”So beautiful,” Magnus heard Alec whisper at the base of his spine, his tone still just as reverent. If it were possible, Magnus would’ve melted into a puddle of love-drunk goo right there. The combination of the heat of what Alec was doing, the weight on Magnus’s body, the feel of his breath on Magnus’s skin, coupled with the loving sweetness of Alec’s words, was powerful. 

Magnus’s earlier pleasant thought concerning Alec peeling his underwear off soon came true once Alec had given Magnus’s back sufficient attention. Though not completely. Alec carefully and oh so slowly pulled the waistband of Magnus’s underwear down, kissing the newly revealed skin as he did. He was in a teasing mood, or perhaps self disciplined, as he only pulled Magnus’s underwear at best halfway down. The waistband stretched across his cheeks, brushing against the hole eagerly awaiting what Alec would do next.

The bed dipped as Alec moved, his weight now pinning Magnus’s legs on the bed at his calves. Magnus felt him shift his weight and lean forward, pushing down on his thighs until he felt Alec’s chin against the barrier that still remained from the only partially removed underwear.

”Magnus,” Alec lovingly murmured, his breath hitting directly onto Magnus’s tailbone, bringing a shiver of anticipation out of him as the warm breath tickled his opening. His mouth was so close to Magnus’s skin, he could actually feel Alec licking his own lips, the underside of the tongue brushing against Magnus and eliciting a soft moan and a small stutter of his lips against the bed at the memory and knowledge of what that tongue was capable of doing in this, or a very similar, position.

”Please,” Magnus sighed. He needed more. He appreciated Alec’s slow loving kisses and touches, but the fires inside of him were sick of merely being stoked. He felt Alec give one of his bottom cheeks a small light kiss, as if to silently comfort and soothe him. “Alexander,” Magnus groaned. Though well intentioned, the intimate touch only made Magnus even more eager. 

”Sorry,” he heard Alec reply, though even without looking Magnus knew he was smiling at the effect he was having so he was only but so contrite. Magnus may have even called him out on it, if it wasn’t immediately followed by Alec giving him what he wanted.

”Ah,” the gasping moan verged on startled, having been so quickly veered off course from the indignation seconds before, at Alec’s tongue against his crack. He continued to tease for a few moments, the flat of his tongue sweeping against the crease between Magnus’s cheeks. “Yes,” Magnus hissed, delicious flames dancing under his skin. “More,” he begged, to which Alec happily obliged.

The tongue slipped deeper into the crease, lightly caressing the puckered flesh of Magnus’s rim. Magnus pressed his lips together, a humming moan coming from his throat, as the tip of Alec’s tongue pressed against the rim and slowly slipped it. Magnus’s legs shook under Alec’s weight. His body wanted nothing more than to move, spread his legs to further open himself up to Alec, but he couldn’t. Between his partially removed underwear, and Alec on his calves, Magnus’s movements were rather restricted.

Alec, whether through mercy for Magnus or his own desires to—quite literally—delve deeper into things, seemed to pick up on Magnus’s distress. He shifted his weight more onto his knees, freeing Magnus’s legs as he slid the underwear further down, his tongue continuing the sweet yet not quite enough torture in Magnus’s hole. Alec had barely pulled the garnet past his knees when Magnus freed his left leg from its confines. He raised his bent knee up against the bed, flattening himself on the mattress—and allowing more sweet sweet friction on his hardening, and now naked, cock—practically presenting his ass to his lover.

”Alexander,” Magnus gasped out as Alec took hold of his hips, his thumbs on Magnus’s cheeks gently holding them apart, as his tongue slipped further into Magnus. He was both disappointed and grateful that Alec seemed to be actively avoiding the places in side of him that made Magnus lose his mind; disappointed because he wanted to feel everything he knew Alec had to offer with that talented tongue of his, but grateful that Alec really was trying to prolong the moment. Make the journey to bliss a long and thorough one.

Alec’s talent for driving Magnus wild was one of the great questions of the universe to Magnus, right there with the meaning of life and trees falling in the woods and other such things. Magnus himself had had centuries of experience and past lovers to build up his own skills in the bedroom, but Alec had had neither before the night he all but barged into the loft. No experience, no past lovers. Their first time had had some of the usual first time fumbling and shyness wrapped up in the desire coming off of Alec in waves, as well as gentle coaching and coaxing from Magnus, though not as much as he had come to expect when faced with a first time. To say Alec had taken to sex like a fish to water was an understatement. Magnus often wondered if Alec’s prowess was due to a natural talent, that Alec was some sexual savant waiting to be unleashed and Magnus was the _exceedingly_ lucky man to be privy to such, or if it was about them as a couple: their hearts, minds, souls, all so linked together that everything just flowed together on an instinctual level between them. Perhaps it was a mixture of both possibilities. Not that it mattered either way, as the theory of ‘is it just because it’s me, or is he just naturally that good?’ would never _**ever**_ be tested. If Alec was in fact a sexual savant, he was and forever would be **Magnus’s** sexual savant.

Magnus at times enjoyed swaying between the two ideas. If it was about them, their instincts knowing exactly how and where to touch and kiss, their bond so strong everything felt natural and right between them, it warmed Magnus all over. The right-ness of them, their being meant to be, shining through. And if it was Alec being just naturally talented no matter what, then it gave Magnus a self-satisfied boost to his ego. He was the one gifted with experiencing that talent first hand. That ego and self satisfaction had especially reared its head when he was briefly ~~jealous~~ **not** jealous over whether Underhill had eyes for his Alexander. The thought ’ _he’s amazing in bed, and he’s all mine, so there!’_ may have passed through Magnus’s mind once or twice.

Such possessive ‘mine, all mine’ thoughts jumbled through Magnus’s mind as he was presently being driven to a panting moaning state by Alec. His hands gripping the silk sheets as his hips moved between the bed and Alec fucking him with his tongue. 

”All yours, _only_ yours, forever,” Alec briefly freed his tongue from Magnus to state, his tone both loving and sultry, to Magnus’s panted mantra. Magnus felt mildly embarrassed he’d actually said it out loud, but Alec’s response did go a long way to mollify such feelings.

”Good,” Magnus choked out, trying to put on an air of smugness and confidence to further combat his embarrassment, but that intention was lost thanks to Alec’s tongue slipping back inside of him.

The room was filled with the wanton sounds of Alec’s oral ministrations and the effect they were having on Magnus. The effect they were both having on each other in equal measure, feeding fuel to their fires: Alec, pleased with Magnus’s moaning and gasping, had let a few moans of his own slip out in between the wet sounds his tongue and lips were making, the vibrations of which hit Magnus in the most delicious way, causing the Warlock to lose his mind even more. He could feel the silk under him dampening as pre-cum began to leak out of his tip.

”Mine, all mine,” Alec murmured, partly teasing Magnus for his earlier panted utterance. And again, Magnus would’ve felt indignant or called him out on such mockery, but he was too busy building up to combusting.

”Yes......all....only, f..forever,” Magnus’s panted in reply. He cried out, his vision filling with stars as he felt Alec’s tongue tenderly caress his prostate, more moans hitting Magnus undoubtedly as Alec reacted to the way Magnus clenched around his tongue. “Ale...Alexander,” Magnus gasped, his body arching as his muscles grew taut, “I ah...should warn you...I...mmm...may not last long if you keep...” His sentence broke off into soft whines.

”Is that what you want?” Alec asked, pulling his tongue out of Magnus and laying gentle kisses on his bottom cheeks.

”I want to,” Magnus began, his breath, and words slightly easier to come by without the stimulation on his sensitive areas, “I want to look at you, when I,” he continued without thinking, as high as he was soaring from Alec’s treatment, he wanted— _needed_ —more. Both in an emotional sense of looking at the man he loved as he came undone, but also in the physical sense of his cock needing something more than the friction the gold colored bedsheets provided. “I want to turn over,” he stated, catching his breath a little more. He took a long calming breath, willing himself back from the edge of the orgasmic cliff for fear he’d lose himself the moment he was touched or tried to move. “Just, ah, give me a moment,” he chuckled. He heard Alec give a soft loving chuckle.

”Take all the time you need, I’m not going anywhere,” he commented as he sat up to give Magnus space to move once he was ready. He slipped Magnus’s underwear off of the remaining leg to further allow Magnus to move unimpeded. Magnus lifted his head off the pillow to look at Alec over his shoulder. Alec was sitting cross legged beside Magnus’s knees, patient, though his gaze spoke of the desire coursing through him....as did the tent in his boxer briefs visible between his legs.

”You’re a little over dressed,” Magnus teased, making Alec grin. He moved and stretched out until he was lying partly on his side and stomach beside Magnus and kissed him.

“We can worry about that after,” he murmured against Magnus’s lips in a way that had him inching back towards the edge of the cliff. After. Oh after was a nice thought. It spoke of multiple trips to, and off of, the edge of the cliff.

”I just hope I haven’t distracted you from your plans too much,” Magnus playfully commented, thinking back to Alec’s intention to touch and kiss him ‘all over’, presumedly as a delightful appetizer to what was to come.

”A pleasant distraction, don’t worry,” Alec replied in kind, teasingly referencing to his earlier distracting of Magnus. He had intended to continue down Magnus’s body; to his thighs, the backs of his knees and calves, his feet, all before making his way back up Magnus’s front, but simply momentarily teasing Magnus’s hole before resuming his journey hadn’t been enough. Especially not with the sounds Magnus had begun to make and Alec’s need to wretch even more of that beautiful music out of his fiancé. 

”Hmm, _pleasant_ indeed,” Magnus grinned.

”Besides,” Alec continued to say, his hand moving to tenderly brush along Magnus’s back, “you seem to be a little too relaxed right now, I think I may need some time to build you back up into a frenzy,” he added huskily, causing a thrill of anticipation to hit from Magnus’s lips down to his cock.

”Perhaps not as much time as you think,” Magnus replied with a chuckle. He sighed and rested his forehead against Alec’s shoulder, wondering once again how he lucked into being loved so by Alec. His open heart and giving nature was evident in all facets of their relationship, including and especially their physical intimacy. He loved making Magnus so undone, be it through the sounds and reactions brought on by his own actions, or Magnus’s appreciative looks and murmurs in times when all he did was lie back and enjoy Magnus being the one in control. Watching Magnus’s cat-eyes flicker in and out of glamour as he lost control would send Alec tumbling off his own orgasmic cliff.

_“You don’t have to hide them all the time, you know,” Alec had once said to him. It had been after one of their early times of physical intimacy, when things were still new and they were both the eager students learning through experimentation all the ways to make the other’s toes curl. They were in bed together after, fingers tracing the beads of sweat on chests in the afterglow of their lovemaking. Alec had stared into Magnus’s eyes that had gone back to the glamoured ‘human’ brown color. “Not with me.” There’d been a note of sadness in his tone, regret that he’d perhaps hadn’t done enough to make Magnus feel comfortable being his true self around him._

_”Oh, Alexander,” Magnus sighed, giving him a comforting kiss that he’d hoped would erase the worried creases from his face. “It’s not you,” he promised, resting his head on the edge of the pillow Alec laid on to be ever so close to him. “It’s just habit. The same can be said for many warlocks,” he explained. Even if they were in complete ease and comfort, alone or with fellow warlocks, many still kept their marks hidden. It wasn’t for lack of trust or security, it was just force of habit. “Glamours....they’re a covering like anything else, like clothes. You slip it on without thinking about it.”_

_” **You** don’t think about clothes?” Alec teased, quirking an eyebrow at how his lover wasn’t exactly the type to just mindlessly adorn himself. Everything was part of his crafted look. The clothes he wore, the eyeliner and eyeshadow he snapped his fingers to perfectly set in place, the nail colors he waved his hands to apply. “Anyway,” Alec continued, drawing closer to Magnus as his arms slipped around Magnus’s body, hands idly skimming down his back. “You’re not wearing any clothes now,” he cheekily pointed out, a hand caressing Magnus’s backside._

_”You know what I mean,” Magnus laughed. “You are,” he paused trying to find the right words to encapsulate everything he felt. “So wonderful.” Alec brushed a kiss on his lips at the compliment. Magnus smiled and cupped Alec’s cheek, running his thumb along his cheekbone. “You made it very clear how much you appreciate my eyes our first time,” he continued, his heart swelling at the memory of how Alec looked at him, what he said, the way he took his face in his hands. All instant, no momentary startled reaction awkwardly brushed away like Magnus had experienced in the past, no disgust or fear, only affection and acceptance. “I haven’t forgotten or doubted that.”_

_”Good,” Alec replied, his worry soothed. “You shouldn’t.”_

_”Besides,” Magnus commented just as cheekily as a grin stretched across his lips, “you seem to rather enjoy it when my cat-eyes pop up in the middle of things,” he noted, reflecting how in the few times they’d been together since their first time, his being too far gone to keep his glamour up would garner a reaction from Alec. He would become even more enthused and voracious—which Magnus had marveled at how that was even possible—his hips would stutter and snap wildly, his moans even louder.  
_

_”Fair point,” Alec purred. Magnus could feel Alec’s heart speed up at the memory of such moments. “I do like seeing that.”_

And with that, Alec’s worries had been allayed. He was able to stop seeing Magnus’s constant glamour as a failing on his part to provide Magnus the emotional security he assumed was needed to be without it. He didn’t push for Magnus to drop his glamour, and merely appreciated it when he did:

If it was due to something requiring Magnus to funnel all of his magic in one singular focus—a fight, protecting himself and those around him from an attack, basically any severe use of magic—then to Alec, the sight of Magnus’s cat-eyes was a mark of Magnus’s strength, not merely the strength of his magic but the strength and valor he possessed in his heart to keep fighting, keep trying and not give up. (And at times yes Alec was just base enough to find Magnus wielding his magic itself sexy. Which Magnus had teased him about once or twice, but he realized he himself couldn’t deny occasionally finding Alec merely wearing his quiver, let alone holding his bow primed and ready with an arrow notched, or stood straight full ‘Head of New York Institute’ Shadowhunter mode both rather captivating, who was he to judge?)

And when the slip of Magnus’s glamour came about in their private moments? Alec marveled at the loss of control pleasure gave Magnus. He was captivated by Magnus’s passion and energy funneled into the moment. As well as the pride and swell of accomplishment that came with knowing he could give that to Magnus.

It was a Pavlovian response. Be it for danger, or lust, Magnus’s cat-eyes sent Alec’s adrenaline up and blood pumping whichever direction the situation called for. Magnus had once reflected back on Max’s rune celebration and couldn’t help chuckle to himself at what instinctual reaction his poor Alexander might’ve had to have quickly smother out upon Magnus showing off his warlock mark to Max. The knee-jerk instinct to stand at Magnus’s side to fight and protect from whatever danger was coming would’ve been adorable and humorous. The _other_ instinct? Standing beside his mother and baby brother? As tense, chaotic, devastating, and heart-in-throat panic inducing the rest of the evening had gone on to be; perhaps the silver lining of it all meant not having to dwell too deeply on the awkward moment of the possibly having had a blood pumping adrenaline spike in the presence of his mother.

”Well, how ever much time is needed, I plan on making the most of it,” Alec’s purred comment against Magnus’s temple brought him out of his own reflections and back to the present matter of Alec’s intentions of building him back up to a frenzy. A sudden sobering thought helped Magnus grip onto enough calm to allow him to move. He slowly turned onto his back, forcing Alec to lift himself up to support himself on his elbow to look down at him. Magnus couldn’t help sigh happily as he was met with Alec’s heated loving gaze. He lifted a hand and placed it against Alec’s cheek.

”You know I’ve long since forgiven you, right?” He gently, carefully, asked. Alec blinked, perplexed, confusion joining the dance of emotions swirling in his eyes.

”What?” He asked. Magnus let his fingers tangle in the hair at the side of Alec’s head.

”This, now, your clear plans to treat me _very_ nicely,” he grinned slightly at his own understatement. “I just want to be sure it’s not...That you don’t feel you **have** to. To make up for....everything.” Their closeness allowed Magnus to see the brief....guilt? Chagrin? The “oops” of being caught with a hand in the cookie jar...flash through Alec’s eyes.

”It’s not,” he lied—not very convincingly. “I just like making you feel good.” Magnus laughed at that.

”Oh, believe me, I have no doubt about that. And that feeling is _very_ mutual,” he replied. “But please, give me some credit. I know you. Deep down somewhere there’s some part of you thinking you have to shower me with all of this as....some sort of redemptive act?”

”No, I-“

”Alexander,” Magnus cut in, his tone loving yet also insistent, telling Alec to cut out the bull.

”Okay,” Alec said with a sigh. “Maybe there is....some part of me that feels that way,” he reluctantly conceded. “And I know it’s not...” He sighed again and flopped down on his back beside Magnus. “I know it’s not necessary. After talking everything out...I know,” he waved his hands above them as he talked, the energy and mild frustration of trying to articulate his thoughts coming out through his limbs as it was known to some times. And like many of those times, Magnus showed him he understood. He reached up and took hold of one of Alec’s hands, lacing their fingers together. He smiled as he felt Alec relax beside him, grateful to receive Magnus’s message. He held Alec’s hand down between them, rubbing comforting circles along the back with his thumb. 

“Regardless of knowing, you still feel like you have to,” Magnus concluded for him, turning slightly to brush a soft kiss on the edge of Alec’s shoulder.

“Not like....an _obligation_ ,” Alec corrected, still attempting to verbalize his thoughts. “I just need to...Maybe not just for you, but for me, I...” He sighed once again, deciding to just give up and be comforted by the thought that Magnus understood. 

”I get it,” Magnus assured him, nuzzling his nose against Alec’s deflect rune. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything,” he added as he laid his head on Alec’s shoulder, remorseful at possibly ruining their moment.

”No, don’t be sorry” Alec replied, turning and brushing a kiss on Magnus’s forehead, “we promised open communication, didn’t we?” He pointed out, getting a smile out of Magnus.

”That we did,” he nodded. 

”I broke your heart,” Alec sadly lamented, “I know we’re moving past it, that you understand why I did it, but I can’t shake that awful feeling of guilt. Not yet at least.”

”And you believe giving me orgasms will help your guilt?” Magnus teased, his tone more loving and playful than outright mocking. He was relieved to see it was received as such at Alec laughing.

”Would you rather flowers and chocolates as the go-to ‘I’m sorry’ gift?” He asked.

“Oh no, jewelry is much more my taste when dealing with a groveling boyfriend,” Magnus joked. “And, oh look,” he added, raising his hand to show off his engagement ring. “Here’s a lovely piece of jewelry from my _fiancé_.”

”Technically it was from you,” Alec pointed out with a chuckle. “You did conjure up the rings.”

”I have specific tastes, so I picked out my own gift,” Magnus joked with a shrug, “but you’re the one who slipped it on my finger.” Alec lifted his own left hand to hold it against Magnus’s, their matching rings pressed together and glinting in the low light of the bedroom. 

“Beautiful,” Alec stated with a thoughtful smile on his face, staring at the tangible representations of their love and desire to spend their lives together. Alec turned to lie on his side so as to more comfortably keep their hands together and held them to his chest. Magnus leaned closer and softly kissed Alec’s knuckles. 

“Well, if you’re still planning on building me up to a frenzy, I think we really will need more time to get back there,” Magnus joked after a moment. Perhaps he should’ve felt awkward piercing through this sentimental moment, but he knew Alec well enough to know that this hadn’t been enough to quell the deep down—even if unnecessary—need for absolution. 

“Are you sure you still want to?” Alec asked, a hopeful yet cautious gleam in his eyes.

”Alexander, what did I tell you about there being no such thing as my not wanting to?” He teasingly asked, making Alec breathe out a soft chuckle. “Besides, I am already dressed—-or, _undressed_ , actually—for the occasion,” he added, pointing out the very clear fact that he was completely naked.

”You are, aren’t you,” Alec mused, his eyes trailing down Magnus’s body. The heat returned to his gaze as he looked upon Magnus’s length. It had calmed down in their respite, but was clearly still in the “moment” as it were.

”Well then, Alexander Gideon Lightwood, what do you intend to do about that?” Magnus asked, a sultry challenge in his tone. Alec brought his gaze back up to meet Magnus’s, a grin spreading across his face as he moved and rolled on top of him.

”Plenty,” he murmured against Magnus’s lips before capturing them in a deep and searing kiss. 

**Author's Note:**

> As usual, muses got me getting this originally intended one-shot kind of lengthy with there still being much more ground to cover. So...short fic it is! Plus writing was taking longer than planned, and I wanted to put up something for those of you waiting for the spice :)  
> Hope you like it so far!


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